The approach of this Valentine’s Day has hit me harder than any previous Valentine’s. Perhaps because of failed attempts at relationships and the fact that I’m going to be 100% legitimately home alone on V-Day, not to mention that both my parents and my sister have been talking about their big plans while my plans include “watch the dogs.” Throw in a recent falling out with a friend, a dash of PMS and you have a bowl full of cinnamon hearts sitting beside your computer while you cry over season 1 of Sailor Moon. I know there are many like me out there, so here’s some tips and tricks that I’ll be trying out that are sure to make this single Valentine’s the best single Valentine’s ever.
1. Wear your favourite underwear
Who cares if nobody’s gonna see them but you? This day is for Y-O-U anyway! So wake up in the morning and put on your best, it will make you instantly feel better, I promise. Every time you go to the bathroom you’ll feel another wave of empowerment. Who cares if the girl that sits next to you in class won’t shut up about the dozen roses her boyfriend got her? You are wearing the cutest underwear on planet earth! Rock that. While you’re at it, wear your favourite outfit, too, or favourite item of clothing in your closet. Every time you catch a glimpse of yourself in the glass of the vending machine while you’re spending a buck twenty-five on “lunch” (because we’ve all been there, girl), you’ll be reminded that, damn, you look good today! And chances are your favourite item of clothing is well-worn and comfortable, otherwise it wouldn’t be your favourite. So you probably genuinely feel good in it, too. Take solace in the fact that you can make yourself feel good just by wearing a certain sweater or pair of shoes. This day already rocks. And it’s probably only, like, 11:30 a..m.
2. Create a girl power mix and put it on repeat
Pick songs that talk about the single life – NOT love songs, I repeat, STAY AWAY FROM LOVE SONGS. They don’t have to be songs about a woman scorned, and don’t choose sad, depressing, I-miss-you songs. Choose songs that speak to the place you’re in RIGHT NOW, that make you feel good, that make you feel empowered and happy and like you can do anything, because you’re a single, independent woman who CAN!
My girl power mix includes:
Gimme What I Want – Keri Hilson
Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe – Kendrick Lamar
Primadonna – Marina and the Diamonds
Miss Movin’ On – Fifth Harmony
Gimme More – Britney Spears
We Can’t Stop – Miley Cyrus
Diva – Beyonce (almost ANYTHING by Beyonce tbh)
Young Blood – the Naked and Famous
Pretty Girl Rock – Keri Hilson
HYFR – Drake ft. Lil Wayne
It’s All About Me – Chelsea Staub (yes, from the Bratz movie, this is a non-judging area)
Spice Up Your Life – Spice Girls
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper
Corvette Cassette – Slow Magic
Stronger – Kanye West
Ribs (Ryan Hemsworth’s ‘Let’s Have A Sleepover’ mix) – Lorde
Follow Your Arrow – Kacey Musgraves
Roar – Katy Perry
Me & My Girls – Fifth Harmony
Live While We’re Young – One Direction
Start All Over – Hannah Montana
Stronger – Britney Spears
Make your mix as long as you want or as short as you want, and put that baby on repeat all day. Try songs out: if they make you sad or angry or remember something sad or happy that’s now gone, DELETE IT. If the lyrics have no relevance to anything or there are no lyrics but it makes you feel great, KEEP IT. It’s your playlist, there’s no rules.
3. Stay away from social media
I truly believe this is one of the most crucial ways to avoid devastation during Valentine’s Day. Do I want to wake up in the morning and see your Facebook status cataloguing all the great things your significant other has done for you before 9 a.m.? No. Do I want to see heavily filtered screenshots of the texts from your boyfriend plastered all over my Instagram feed? No. Do I want to get more depressed by seeing tweets about other lonely singles who have nothing better to do than tweet about it? No (although this will be the hardest social network to stay away from). Do I care where you’re checking in for dinner? Are the photo collages of flowers and chocolate going to better my life? Am I going to feel happiness upon seeing pictures of happy couples all over the internet? No, no, and no, I’ll probably feel like throwing my phone/something at you/up.
STAY AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA. You don’t need to check your Twitter/Instagram/Facebook in a constant rotation all day anyway. It’s just not good for your health, especially on Valentine’s Day.
4. Don’t expose yourself to things that are going to depress you
This is riding on the coattails of #3. Don’t stalk Instagram feeds of happy couples with pictures captioned “The best #happycouple #boyfriend #lovehim.” Don’t watch a romantic comedy. Don’t listen to Bruno Mars. Don’t read love poems or watch romantic Valentine’s Day proposals on YouTube. Don’t look through pictures of your friends and their significant others, or your parents’ wedding album, or scroll through your camera roll to Happier Days Gone By. Don’t journal about your sad feelings. Don’t think about love lost. DON’T TEXT OTHER SINGLES IN HOPES OF FLIRTATION. Don’t answer messages from guys you met on Tinder. Don’t go on Tinder AT ALL. If you think it’s going to make you feel bad, DON’T DO IT.
5. Grab your favourite movie or TV show and have a marathon
Choose a trilogy of films, the Harry Potter movies, a TV show you’ve never watched but have always wanted to that happens to be 9 seasons long, or a TV show that is your all-time favourite and stick it on your Netflix queue. One movie isn’t going to be enough. You need distraction for the entire evening.
6. Get your favourite treats – all of them
Try not to pick cinnamon hearts or conversation hearts or marshmallow hearts or any candy that is in the shape of a heart. Go to the store and go wild in the junk food aisle. Get all of it. If it was your favourite when you were 6 it’s probably a good choice.
7. Remember Valentine’s Day is just a day anyway
Most people don’t even end up being satisfied with their Valentine’s Day because you work all day and the lines at the florist are really long and Walmart is sold out of heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and one of you forgot and you hyped it up so much in your head reality ruined your image of Love and Romance. Life isn’t like a Nicholas Sparks novel (thank god), and Valentine’s Day is really just February 14th. Like today is February 13th and the day after will be February 15th. Find solace in the fact that it’s mainly about commercialism and that most “happy” couples are going to end up in a fight on Saturday over the Special Occasion.